Why you can't see, hear or feel Spirit yet (and the sixty second fix)

You can see, hear and feel Spirit. You already are. The fix is not more trying, it is less. From a school mum who woke up to her gifts at 33.

Your gifts probably aren't blocked. You may just be overriding them. You are receiving information, and you're not blocked. You're receiving the information, but your brain is doing a great job at putting it in the junk pile, deemed not important, before it comes to your conscious awareness.

So what is a block, really? People come to me and go, Vic, I've lost my gift. I used to be able to see, I'm blocked now. And I'm like, no, I don't think you're blocked. I think you've just shifted the way that you perceive. The truth is, spirit comes in whispers and little nudges and little flashes. Messages are usually felt within the body. Seeing spirit is usually in the imagination. Hearing can often be with your own voice. These subtleties have not been what we've been taught when it comes to Hollywood, when it comes to what we believe psychic mediumship is. A block is a filter, and filters can change.

Am I blocked from Spirit?

No vision, no hearing, no feeling, no sensing, no knowing. I clearly must be blocked from spirit. Have you ever felt that way?

Everybody is tuning in, seeing visions, hearing, getting all the tingly feelings, and here you are going, I literally think maybe I missed the gene, I missed the gift. You are not alone. You've tried the meditations, you've read the books, you've learned about the crystals, and maybe you've done some mediumship courses. But every time you go to tune in, close your eyes, come into meditation, there's crickets.

I know this one from the inside. I had a candle. I had crystals. I had cards. I had my journal. I had dimmed the lights down. I had made sure that nobody was going to be around me, disturbing me. I even put a little bit of music on. I made sure everything was perfect. And nothing happened.

I'm laughing because of the amount of pressure that I put on myself. I knew I was a medium. That's the thing. Just like you. You know you're gifted, right?

Here is the simple answer, and it is the one that changes everything. Picture this, you're in a room, it's a party. Say it's a Christmas party, it's really loud, the music is going, there's a ton of people in there. And all of a sudden, through all the noise, all the chaos, all the party vibes, you hear your name being called. You look across the room over all of these people and you see your best friend calling your name, waving. Your brain honed in because it's been trained to hear your name. Tick. That is important. The brain did a great job.

Your brain has been trained to hear your name. It has not been trained to hear Spirit. So the whisper gets filed under not important, and you sit there with your candle going, see, nothing. That is not a block. That is a brain doing its job a little too well.

The mediumship is already within us and we must acknowledge what we've already done before we go into judging what we are not doing.

Who am I to tell you this?

I wasn't born awake seeing spirit. I wasn't born awake, conscious, knowing what my path was. It wasn't until I was 33 years old, I had my second child, so it all happened when I was pregnant. But then when I had my child, I woke up, and I call this my big bang awakening.

I was a hairdresser for 18 years in a little town in New Zealand. And honestly, I was brought up Catholic. I was getting the songs looping, the buzzing in the ears, the numbers, the recurring numbers, as well as the feathers and the butterflies and all the things. And I thought, maybe I'm going crazy or maybe I am psychic.

It was years of my ears popping. And I even went to the doctor and I was like, I don't know, but I feel like there's water in my ear. I went and got some of those candles to burn because I was like, there's something wrong with my ears. The spirit was trying to talk to me. And as soon as I started listening, all of those symptoms went away.

I was so sensitive that I would go into the supermarket and feel like my brain was going to explode. When my friend was in front of me thinking, I knew what she was thinking. I went to the doctor and I said, help, please. The doctor sent me away and said, go get a babysitter and go to the beach and get your hair done. That's going to help. Not.

And then, like you, I thought that I had skipped the gift. The women before me had it, loud and clear, and I was sure it had passed me by. I thought that only certain people had the gift of mediumship and they always saw with their eyes or heard with their ears. So I spent years going to chi classes, going to meditation classes, listening to meditations during the night, during the day, going, why can't I see anything? Why am I not receiving any messages?

It was happening the whole time. Feathers, songs, water in my ear, knowing what my friend was thinking. I was overriding all of it, waiting for the movie to start.

Why can't I see Spirit? Where the overriding started

Your gifts probably aren't blocked. So if you have been thinking, well, when I was a child or when I was younger, I was able to receive more information from spirit, or maybe I just didn't get the gene. I know how you feel. I came from a line of women who had it, and I was convinced it had skipped me. But your gifts probably aren't blocked. You may just be overriding them.

Overriding starts early. Somewhere, usually around about seven years old, we start filling up our brain with numbers and words and, of course, learning to fit into society. This is good, because education is good and it's healthy, but your intuitive gifts were put to the side and, truth be told, they were not safe for you to access.

All you had to have was one parent, one caregiver, one person that had an authority, maybe a teacher or a peer, say, no, you're wrong. And we just go, I better shut down that knowing.

That shutting down becomes a habit, and the habit is still running. Spirit comes in and you notice it, and then your brain goes, put it into the junk pile. You were taught that at seven years old, somewhere between five and seven, you put it into the junk pile: not relevant, Mum and Dad won't approve, not how I'm going to be accepted into this family, for my survival. You've been doing it your whole life.

Your mind is a filter. Spirit gives you information. Then your conditioning says that's impossible. I'm not psychic. That's dangerous. I'll get it wrong. People will think I'm crazy. We filter.

And here is the good news, because there is good news. Instead of blaming the people that put us into the box, I think we have to have a little bit of grace and compassion and understand that they thought they were doing this for our highest good. But we can go in and start re-parenting ourselves and come back to where we left off at seven years old. Filters can change. No matter how old you are, no matter how experienced you are, we're all the same because we're human.

Your seven-year-old self is sensitive, curious, and magical. Your seven-year-old self is waiting for you to remember.

Why does trying harder make it worse?

If you've been trying to feel spirit or feel another, and you've been feeling like you're blocked, you are trying too hard.

If you're meditating and you're trying to meditate, trying to see, focus, focus, focus, and you're not getting anything, it's because you're too awake. Often when we're trying to see and visualize, it's like taking a photo, you go, and you smile and you hold your breath, right? I don't want you to hold it. What I want you to do is relax into it.

Sometimes we are literally trying to tell our brain what to think or see or visualize. And we don't want to be micromanaging when it comes to our clairs. We want to be tuning into our natural abilities. You cannot be a medium if you are constantly trying too hard to be something that you are not, or trying to grab it externally. It's all internal.

This is the bit I wish someone had told me in the first year. The minute I stopped trying and I started allowing and coming into the breath and allowing myself to go into a sleepy mode, I call this spirit mode in my certification. When we go into sleepy mode, which is the space between awake and asleep, all of a sudden we can start receiving through our heart space.

You already know this space. You're starting to go to sleep at night or it's first thing in the morning and you're drifting. We call this drifting. We're coming in and out of sleep. And all of a sudden you're receiving all these ideas, ideas for content online, ideas about what you want to do, where you want to go. You've got this bright idea to start a new business. All of a sudden you're seeing someone that you love in spirit and they're giving you a message and you're thinking this is a dream. You wake up out of it and it disappears because your brain clicks in, trying to remember it. This is mediumship.

So the tightness is the problem. Not you. Thinking is not going to be the thing that brings a channel through. In fact, it's noise, where the heart is signal.

The minute I stopped trying so hard to see spirit, I started to see spirit.

What does Spirit actually feel like?

Here is what no one has told you. You are not meant to see, hear, feel and know spirit like everybody else does. You were never meant to perceive like every other medium that you have seen on television, or a medium that you've had a reading from.

Connecting with spirit is not bold and loud and harsh. It is soft and subtle and gentle.

And for most of us, it arrives as a feeling first. You feel spirit. You always have, but maybe you haven't been able to see spirit. And somewhere along the way, you've decided that you're just not a seer. There's no faces. There's no film behind your eyes. There's nothing popping in or sparking out of the corner. You just feel. And somewhere along the line, you decided that because you can't see, that means you are not a medium.

Well, my love, you have got it all backwards.

When I first started, I thought being psychic was seeing a movie play out of my head. I thought being psychic was seeing a spirit in front of me and being able to have maybe a verbal conversation and hearing what they had to say. I was all like Hollywood, waiting for the big dramaticness to come through. And it didn't. It didn't happen that way. When I did tune into my dominant clair, everything opened up and I was able to utilize all of the clairs and work on each and every individual one to strengthen my abilities. I simply hadn't realized the channel that I had naturally. And for me, it was clairsentience. I felt deeply in my body, in my senses, that spirit was around or there was energies around me. I wasn't seeing with my third eye and I wasn't hearing with my ears. I was literally sensing it within my body.

Door one is all about feeling. This is clairsentience. This is actually my most powerful one. But it never used to be. I used to be able to feel nothing. Feeling comes natural to us because we are feeling, sensitive, empathic and compassionate human beings.

So what does it feel like? A feather. Landing. A one, one, one. A monarch butterfly. Not once that day, but everywhere you go. A name. A certain name constantly popping up. We deem them as coincidences. We see them as, oh, it's so subtle. It's just another coincidence. We want something loud and bold. But this is where the gold is, this is where the intuition is: in the subtleties, in the nuances, in the presence.

What if I can't visualise at all?

We've been conditioned to believe that psychic equals seeing. And it truly isn't the case. We are a sensory being, not just a visual being. People that have aphantasia or cannot visualize clearly are usually super psychic and can be a cleaner and clearer channel than those that are seeing.

I used to define it by thinking, I don't see anything, so I'm not gifted. Truly, that is the biggest mistake ever. Thank goodness I changed my perspective. Just because you're not visualizing doesn't mean you're not gifted.

If you've been experiencing a lack of seeing, you may be a whole lot more psychic than you ever gave yourself credit for.

Is it my imagination, or is it Spirit?

This is the question that stops more women than any ghost ever has. So let me tell you what happened the first time I read for someone.

She's sitting on my couch in my house. I have my oracle cards in my hand because, hello, safety. And then I had this little voice in my head that said, put down the cards. Was that spirit? Was that my mind? I don't know, but I listened and I put down the cards. I closed my eyes and came into a space of calmness. I call this spirit mode.

I stood there. She sat down on the couch and I said, what do I see? What do I feel? What do I know? The reason why the reading was so successful was because I came inward and I trusted everything that I saw, even though my brain was like, you are a fraud. You're a liar. You're going to get a no.

And when it landed for her, I covered my mouth and I said, are you lying to me? Because I had never in a million years thought that my imagination would be the thing that would be the psychic mediumship abilities. I was expecting to see in my mind's eye something separate from me, to hear something separate from me.

That is the whole secret, and it is why so many of us sit there getting nothing. We are waiting for something separate. Your mind is a big mansion with so many nuances, so many doors within it. But the imagination, and how spirit speaks to you, is through one door. Your greatest imagination is how you see. You can see if you can imagine.

This is where the magic is. In your greatest imagination. The subtleties that you can create. If you're coming from your heart space, you can't get it wrong. But it's quiet.

The same goes for hearing. Your higher self, your future self, your guides and spirit are often talking in your very own voice. So when you are waiting for a voice that isn't yours, you are throwing away the one you are already hearing.

And if you are thinking, but I would doubt it anyway, you are right, and that is normal. I often say to people, if you saw an angel right in front of you giving you a message, you would probably doubt it the next day. Full disclosure, I might be a fraud. Full disclosure, I might get it wrong. But that's not going to stop me from trying. And that's what I did on that day.

The truth is, your psychic abilities aren't one-offs, and your greatest imagination, your mind, is a part of the process.

Why can't I hear Spirit clearly?

You can't hear spirit clearly if you're full of static and noise.

You're finally tuning in, but there's a million thoughts going on. You feel like there's 10 other people's stories happening all while you're sitting here trying to focus on your breath and you expect to hear spirit. But all you hear is static. All you see is static. All you feel is noise. You're not alone.

The noise needs to be turned down so we can hear what the DJ is saying. It's like if you go to a rock concert and you're in the mosh pit and you decide you want to have a deep and meaningful with your best friend. Do you think you're going to be able to hear what they're saying to you?

Some of that noise is yours. Some of it isn't. Our auras are not rock solid. They're not made out of crystal. They're not made out of mirror. We're quite translucent and porous. We absorb energy. You cannot swim in energetic sludge all day and then be shocked when your channel feels muddy.

So let's start with turning down the noise and then we're going to turn up your intuition. A line I use most days, out loud, in the car, in the shower, wherever: I release all energy that is not mine. I reclaim my space. That's it. Say it, breathe out, and notice how much quieter the room gets.

Maybe your channel isn't closed. Maybe there is simply too much noise. Maybe spirit isn't quiet. Maybe you're still learning your very own language.

Is it really a block, or is it trust?

Let me say the quiet part. You've been conditioned to not trust yourself. So what if you did trust yourself?

If you don't trust yourself, you won't trust spirit. You can't trust spirit more than you trust yourself. That's not an equilibrium, that is an imbalance. Don't wait for your guides. Ask your guides to support you and give you a sign, but you've got to trust yourself more than anything. You are your number one guide.

This is why the candles and the perfect room did nothing for me. I was waiting for Spirit to override my doubt for me. It doesn't work like that. I would say that probably 95% of people that come into Magnificent Mediumship have got a lot of fear. Whether it's fear of spirit, fear of failure, or fear of success. We all have this because it's a human thing. Trusting yourself is the hardest thing.

And under the fear is usually one old rule. We have been so programmed to be a good girl or a good boy that we don't want to get it wrong. In mediumship, the rules are completely different to the education system and the programming that you've been brought up with. Getting a no is actually a good thing. Even if you get a no, you're so much closer to getting your yes.

If you take away the mind, the overthinking and the overwhelm and you come into your heart space and you realize that you are not alone doing this, that spirit is meeting you halfway, your doubt will dissipate. You've taken all the pressure off your shoulders and realized it's not just about you. It's about spirit as well. And spirit will meet you where you are at.

So no, I don't think you're blocked. I think you've been handed a choice every single day, trust the whisper or file it in the junk pile, and nobody ever told you it was a choice. Now you know. Your discernment, your knowing and your intuition is more important than anything. Beyond anything I say or anybody else, trust your inner knowing.

It's not about trying harder. It's not about becoming someone else. It's about becoming clearer.

Try this tonight: sixty seconds in Spirit Mode

Don't read past this one. You don't need the candle. You don't need the crystals. You need a minute, sitting on the edge of the bed is fine. The three keys to escaping the matrix. One, drop your barriers. Two, connect to breath. Three, expand.

• Drop your barriers. Let the walls come down. You are not bracing for a ghost. You are softening. If someone was here, we're just going to say hello.
• Connect to breath. Have your feet on the ground. Connect that earth into the breath. It is source. It is life. It is living. Breathe out longer than you breathe in, and let your eyes get heavy. Remember, too awake is the problem, so let yourself go a little sleepy.
• Expand. From your heart, out past your skin, out past the room. We expand our energy and we match the capacity which we require to hold the connection with spirit.

Now, instead of trying to see anything, ask the body. What am I sensing? How is my body feeling? What's going on with me and my body right now? Warmth on one side. A tingle on your scalp. A word in your own voice. A colour behind your eyelids. A name. A feeling of someone standing on your left.

You may feel something cool. You may not. It actually does not matter. What matters is that you do not throw it away. Whatever came, write it down before your brain clicks in. The coolest thing about journaling as a tool is you might be like, I don't know! But write it down anyway. And once you write down the question, you can actually channel out the answer.

If you want a line to close with, this is mine: I release the pressure to see. I am connected. My gifts are real. My way is more than enough.

Do it again tomorrow. Sixty seconds, every day, is worth more than an hour once. Something is better than nothing.

Watch Victoria teach this on YouTube →

Questions women ask me

Can you lose your gift?

I don't think you're blocked. I think you've just shifted the way that you perceive. It is not a bad thing that you put your spiritual gifts on the bookshelf in the back corner for a while, because you're returning to it now. And it's just sitting there waiting for you to unlock.

Do I have to see Spirit to be a medium?

You don't have to see spirit to connect into spirit. Messages are usually felt within the body, seeing spirit is usually in the imagination, and hearing can often be with your own voice. I don't see dead people with my eyes. I work this way and we all work differently.

What if I get it wrong?

Getting a no is actually a good thing, because we are figuring out the pieces of the puzzle from a different frequency vibration that we're trying to tune into. 99% of what you say won't make sense to you, but it's going to make sense to the person that you are talking to. Even if you get a no, you're so much closer to getting your yes.

Your psychic mediumship abilities, like I've said so many times already, are within you, and they're just being remembered. So yes, we can say they're being activated, but the truth is, they're being remembered. Everyone is a medium. Including you.

Read next: Everyone Is a Medium, Why Your Spiritual Gifts Work When You're Not Trying, Fear Is the Doorway