Everyone Is a Medium

How to finally see, hear and feel Spirit in your own way, and know for sure when it's Spirit and when it's your mind. From an ordinary girl who woke up to her gifts at 33.

Your gifts probably aren't blocked. You may just be overriding them. You can't think yourself psychic, you are psychic.

What is a medium? A psychic medium is a person who can communicate with spirit, a person who can bridge the gap between this 3D reality and the spirit world. Here's the thing I want you to listen to. Without your body, you are Spirit. So when we're communicating with Spirit, we are simply talking to another soul just like us. That is why I say the truth is, we are all psychic mediums. Everyone is a medium. Including you.

Some people are not going to like that I have said that. But hundreds of people have gone through my program, and every single one of them has had psychic mediumship gifts. Not in a cookie cutter way. In their way.

So this page is not another lesson about how mediumship works. It is more of a celebration and a remembrance of you. Below are eight questions people ask me, and each one links to a longer post when you want to go deeper. Early on there's a practice that takes sixty seconds. Do it, and write down what you notice, because when we write things down, when we speak it out, it helps us to shift faster.

Who am I to tell you this?

I wasn't born awake seeing spirit. I wasn't born awake, conscious, knowing what my path was.

I was a hairdresser for eighteen years in a little town in New Zealand. And honestly, I was brought up Catholic. Anything to do with mediumship or woo woo was don't go there. It is not good. It was all Hail Marys and Our Fathers and going to the church.

I came from a line of women with gifts. My grandmother and my great grandmother were super psychic. They were seeing spirit. They were hearing spirit. They were getting messages. Not me. I was little miss plain Jane who kind of missed the psychic DNA.

It wasn't until I was 33 years old. It all happened when I was pregnant, and then after my son was born, I woke up. I call this my Big Bang Awakening.

When I was pregnant with my son, I kept feeling like there was water in my ear, so I'd always be jumping up trying to get the water out. I couldn't sleep. I felt like there was always someone around me. There was a buzzing. I had mind chatter. I'd wake up at three o'clock in the morning, 3:33 or 3:15, and I was just wired. The signs and synchronicities around me were blowing my mind. There were feathers everywhere. I'd see them physically with my eyes as I was walking down the street, or they would float down from the sky, and then it got to the point that I'd walk into a room and feel like the whole room was full of feathers. A song would come on and I'd get the earworm, the same song going over and over and over for days on end.

And I thought, maybe I'm going crazy, or maybe I am psychic.

When I had my Big Bang Awakening, the truth is I had no support. I had no resources. I went into crystal shops going, I think I'm awakening, can you help me? And they'd go, here you go, here's a channelling book. I was like, thank you. But I didn't know how to ask. I knew nowhere and no one. I had no idea how to start.

The first reading

I had this knowing that I was a psychic medium, and I didn't have any proof or evidence, and I thought I was a bit nuts. So I wanted to prove it one way or the other. Am I nuts or am I psychic?

So I asked an acquaintance who I didn't know very well. She was a client of mine, because I was a hairdresser, and I knew she went to the spiritual church. I said, do you mind if I practice a reading on you? Because I'm really nervous. I'd been so petrified of doing anything like this, being brought up Catholic. I had never used oracle cards or crystals, and I knew nothing about the chakra system or anything spiritual.

I grab my cards and I start shuffling them. I'm shaking like a leaf. I'm feeling like a fraud, going, who do I think I am? How do you turn 33 and think you're a psychic medium when you've never done a reading? And I heard this little voice in my head. It was my own voice, and it said, put down the cards.

So I put down the cards. I drop my barriers. I expand my energy. I open my heart. I closed my eyes and I said, what can I see? And I went into my greatest imagination, and all of a sudden I see a man. He looked like the guy from Gone with the Wind, Clark Gable. I see the way he's standing, his height, how thin he is, and he's got a moustache. And then I can see a child pop up, another child pop up.

I trusted everything that I saw, even though my brain was like, you're a fraud, you're a liar, you're going to get a no. I just said to her, what I see is a man. I see two children. He looks like Clark Gable.

She said, that was one of the best readings I've ever had. No one's been able to bring through my uncle like that.

Looking back now, oh my God, it was that moment. That trust leap. That was me becoming a medium, or should I say, remembering I was a medium.

I am not special. I am a psychic medium who remembered, and I'm here to show you that you can remember too.

How do you become a psychic medium?

You don't need crystals, incense or to be born special to connect with spirit. You don't have to have been a reader for 50 years. You do not have to be a reader for five years or ten years. In fact, you can pull some cards, tap into your God given gifts that you were born with, remember who you are and start reading right away.

Every single person is born with it. Every single baby that is born can see spirits. They are intuitive. They know what is good for them or not, because they are really speaking with energy. Energy is our first language. The problem is, most people blocked it off at a very, very young age, and most of us don't remember before four years old.

So becoming a medium is really remembering. But you still have to practice. It's just like hopping on a bike. You eventually remember that it's kind of easy. It just seems so foreign at first. Half the problem is, sometimes people just don't try. They say, I can't do it. But they didn't try. You've got to do the thing. You've got to practice.

These are the three little tips that got me started. Without those three things, I would probably still be asking the question, am I a psychic medium?

One. Meditate, even for seven minutes

I can hear some of you now saying, I can't meditate, I've got a lot of mind chatter. So many psychic mediums have that, including me. I didn't realise my mind chatter was not just a busy brain. It was also Spirit trying to talk to me. I was a busy mum and I had a business, so I only managed about seven minutes a day, probably for the first year. I would just get a chakra balancing meditation off YouTube, and that was a non negotiable. And if you fall asleep, don't worry about it, because it's still going into the subconscious.

Two. Journal

I resisted this for so long. I was like, I do not have time for that. But one of the things that really helped me to unlock my psychic mediumship was getting what was in my head out on paper. My favourite way to journal is to write down questions, what am I feeling, what's going on for me, and then answer my own questions.

Three. Play

This was one of my downfalls. I took it all so seriously. What if I ruin her life? What if I ruin my life? What if I get rejected by my family? I wish I could go back to myself and say, hey, you know what? Play, play, play.

We play these games when we're younger. When I was about 18 and doing my apprenticeship as a hairdresser, one of the girls I worked with and I would sit having morning tea, and I'd say, let's play the psychic game. I'd say, I see you travelling, I see you with three kids, I see you marrying a guy that you travelled with. I'd go into this elaborate story. A couple of years ago, at a wedding or a hens party, she said to me, do you remember when we used to play that game? Do you remember how accurate you were?

I didn't realise I was actually strengthening my gifts. Playing is the consciousness of being childlike, and children are a lot closer to Spirit, because they're not as conditioned.

Go deeper: the beginner's guide to unlocking your psychic potential.

Watch me teach this

Watch me teach How to Become a Psychic Medium (Mediumship Training for Beginners) on YouTube.

Why can't you see, hear or feel Spirit yet?

Is this you? You've tried the meditations, you've read the books, you've learned about the crystals, and maybe you've done some mediumship courses. But every time you go to tune in, close your eyes, come into meditation, there's crickets. You can't hear anything or see anything. It is like silence.

You're not alone. A lot of people come to me thinking, I think I'm blocked. And I'm afraid that if I dive into mediumship, I'm going to get nothing. But the truth is, your gifts probably aren't blocked. You may just be overriding them.

Where the overriding started

When I was a little girl, about five or six, I'd lie in bed at night looking at the ceiling, and I could see blue and yellow and pink. I thought it was just because I had looked at the light bulb. I was also petrified of the wardrobe. I would always have to have the wall at my back, because I was scared something was going to tap me on the shoulder. In fact, something did tap me on the shoulder. It wasn't a ghost standing there talking to me, thank God. It was subtle things. However, I was sensing energy.

As a child, you sensed things. You sensed if somebody was lying. You sensed things in your own family. And somewhere, usually around about seven years old, we start filling up our brain with numbers and words, and of course learning to fit into society. Education is good and it's healthy. But your intuitive gifts were put to the side. If you brought what you saw, heard, felt and knew to your parents, most likely you were told, it's your imagination.

Your mind is a filter. Spirit gives you information. Then your conditioning says that's impossible. I'm not psychic. That's dangerous. I'll get it wrong. People will think I'm crazy. We filter.

Maybe your channel isn't closed. Maybe there is simply too much noise. You cannot swim in energetic sludge all day and then be shocked when your channel feels muddy.

You are trying too hard

When people come to me and say, I want to see my guides, why can't I see my guides? They try too hard. They are in their head.

If you're meditating and you're literally trying to see, focus, focus, focus, and you're not getting anything, it's because you're too awake.

The minute I stopped trying and I started allowing, and coming into the breath, and letting myself go into a sleepy mode, I started receiving. I call this Spirit Mode. It's the space between awake and asleep. You know the one. You're drifting in and out of sleep first thing in the morning, and all of a sudden you're receiving ideas, or you see someone you love in spirit and they're giving you a message, and you think it's a dream. Then your brain clicks in trying to remember it, and it disappears. That is mediumship.

The minute I stopped trying so hard to see spirit, I started to see spirit.

And here is what no one has told you. You are not meant to see, hear, feel and know spirit like everybody else does. You were never meant to perceive like every other medium that you have seen on television. So the first thing we need to do is to drop all expectations of what mediumship is.

Go deeper: why your gifts work when you're not trying, and how to stop blocking them.

Try it now: sixty seconds of Spirit Mode

This is the practice. Don't read past it. The three keys are simple. One, drop your barriers. Two, connect to breath. Three, expand.

• Drop your barriers. We put these big walls up to protect ourselves. Let them come down, down, down. You are safe, guided, loved and protected.
• Connect to your breath. Take a nice deep breath in. Feel your feet going down into the earth, your roots going down. Drop into your heart. Get out of the monkey mind.
• Expand. Expand from your heart in all directions. Fill the room, the house, the town, the world, all the way out to the cosmos. You don't need to know how to do this, because this is not cognitive. You are doing this.

Now set your intention and notice what you notice. What do you become aware of? Warmth? Pressure? Peace? A colour? A presence? A knowing? Nothing dramatic? Never mind. Stay curious. Whatever you feel is what you feel, and that is correct.

Start your spirit dictionary

Now write down what you noticed. This is your first entry. Create your own spirit dictionary, your personal library of meaning, built one entry at a time. Make sure you've got a diary for this.

What goes in it? Symbols, feelings, sensations, images, words, patterns, signs, meanings. Notice the patterns as you go through your life, and even your readings. A butterfly might mean transformation to one person, Grandma to another, and absolutely nothing to someone else. So nobody can actually hand this to you. You can borrow a system until you've made yours. That's totally cool. But eventually you'll want your own.

Sometimes we need to slow down to speed up. We need to study ourselves. Your spirit dictionary is yours alone.

Am I a medium? The signs you already have

Have you ever asked the question, am I a psychic medium? If you have, you are not alone. Quite often it is the simple signs, the ones we don't put two and two together on, that show us we are a psychic medium. These are very, very common.

• Heightened intuition. You've had a gut feeling that something is not quite right, or that someone is going to ring you, and then they do ring you.
• Vivid dreams and messages. A dream that came true, or a dream where the feelings really equate to what's going on in your life.
• Sensing a presence. You're walking down the street and it's like there are eyes on you, or you feel like you're walking with somebody. Feeling your granddad's essence around, nearly smelling him, nearly seeing him.
• Hearing messages in your own voice. A lot of people think you have to hear a voice like I'm talking to you, external. More than likely you are hearing yourself speaking, and you're like, that's interesting, where did that come from? Our guides and Spirit can talk to us with our own voices.
• Strong empathy. You walk into someone's presence and feel their emotions. You get goosebumps. You feel emotional, and you're not emotional, you are mirroring the other.
• Sudden knowing. It drops in, someone goes, how did you know that? And you're like, I actually don't know.

Track back through your childhood

Everyone as a child has experiences. Then we either forget them, or we just didn't realise they were experiences.

Maybe there was a school teacher you just didn't like the vibe of. Maybe you felt a cat on the end of your bed, or a grandmother stroke your head when you were asleep. Was I asleep, or was I not asleep? There's always a question.

And just because somebody else's experience has been more bold, doesn't mean you should dismiss yours. I want you to hear that again. Some people have big, bold experiences, and some people have subtle ones. We bypass the subtle ones thinking that the big and the bold is better. It's not true. My family's experiences seemed so fantastical, and they were. But not me. Mine were colours on the ceiling, orbs, and a wardrobe I was scared of.

So get a pen and paper and ask, what experiences have I already had with mediumship? This is your evidence, something you can go back to. Because evidential mediumship is really about starting now, with the evidence that you already have.

And if you're asking whether you're good enough, or whether you're a fraud and don't belong here, the truth is, everyone is a medium. It's just whether you're interested enough, and whether you are brave enough to walk the walk and learn the skills.

You didn't become a medium by watching the videos, by reading the books, by being mentored. You became the medium that you already are by remembering who you are.

Go deeper: the spiritual awakening symptoms nobody warned you about.

How does Spirit talk to you?

Not very long ago, it was my grandma's first year anniversary from her passing. We were having a little birthday party for our family. I'm taking a video and there are orbs everywhere. The light starts flickering on and off. And I'm going, it's Grandma, it's Grandma. My sister's like, yes, it is. And my Mum's like, that's such a coincidence. It's not a coincidence. Spirit comes through in subtle ways. Spirit comes through in bold ways.

They will put people and situations and songs and feathers within your reach. If you're meant to meet somebody, all of a sudden you start bumping into them at the supermarket. But quite often it's so subtle that we haven't actually realised Spirit is working through us.

There are glitches in the matrix. 111s. Feathers. Butterflies. That's called driftwood. That's called breadcrumbs. That's called golden sparkles of, I'm guiding you.

Signs and synchronicities are language. And when we bypass them, remember it has taken so much effort for Spirit to come and give you this message. They may have tried for years to connect with you.

Ask the question, then let it land

Here is what I did when it was all happening to me. When a song was going around and around, I'd listen to the lyrics and write them down. When I couldn't sleep at three in the morning, I'd say, is there something here keeping me awake? Show yourself to me. When I started seeing feathers, I'd say, why are you showing me feathers?

So that's the hot tip. Questions. Why am I seeing these feathers? Why am I getting the song? Why am I waking up all the time? What am I smelling, and who does that belong to? Rather than actually trying to hear the answer, or see the answer, or demand the answer, I let the answer land, in the timing it was meant to.

And this is what happened next. Words, even pictures, would pop out at me, and I was able to translate what they meant for the question I asked. Maybe a name popped out. Something would pop out which would connect to another thing, which would connect to another thing. The most bizarre pieces of the puzzle started coming together.

Your signs mean what they mean to you

This took me a few years to develop, because I was trying on other people's symbols. I'm like, what does a 333 mean? What does a 111 mean? And I realised that quite often people would say a monarch butterfly means that my grandma's around. And I'm like, to me it means that a spirit called Emma is around. We've got different interpretations. Therefore, we need our own system. That's what your spirit dictionary is for.

Maybe you don't need more signs. Maybe you need to understand the ones that you're already receiving.

Go deeper: how to read the signs Spirit is sending you.

Is it Spirit or just your mind?

Have you ever asked yourself, what if I'm making this all up? This is what we call imposter syndrome. It happens to pretty much everybody, and it is blocking you from receiving information.

You find the stillness and you start receiving. A little bit of goosebumps, a feeling. Your heart starts opening. Maybe you see a flicker. And then as soon as that comes in, your mind goes, but what if I'm making this up? And as fast as it came, it left.

The fact that you're asking a question, am I making this up or is this real, is actually a good thing.

The same door

Your mind is like a big mansion with so many doors. But your imagination and the way Spirit speaks to you come through one door. Imagination and connecting in with Spirit come from the same origin. So we need to discern what is a message from Spirit and what is our own imagination.

You don't need to let go of the thinking mind. But we need to start doing gut checks, and stop favouring the mind over the knowing.

Your mind will analyse. The ego will question. But Spirit will come through in subtle nuances. It's quiet. It's clear. And it doesn't have drama attached.

Three ways to know it's Spirit

• It is subtle and persistent. Spirit is not going to ditch you. I was talking to Emma, my spirit girl who taught me how to do mediumship from the other side, for a good year to 18 months before I got what she was trying to tell me. They do not get fed up with you. They do not get angry with you. They do not get loud with you.
• It doesn't come from fear. Your loved one in spirit comes in with the best intention in mind for you. If it's loud and scary and affecting your dreams and there's a darkness to it, it's not your loved one in spirit.
• It lands in your body. Goosebumps, warmth on the side of your body, the hairs on the back of your neck, a tingle in your forehead. I used to feel like there was a fly on top of my head. It was just my crown buzzing.

The only way to know for certain with a reading is to tell the person what you're seeing, and have a conversation about what has landed for them. Unapologetically trust the first thing that comes through, even if it doesn't make sense to you. Because 99% of what you see, hear, feel and know won't make sense to you. But it will make sense to the sitter. And getting a no is actually great in mediumship, because then you can say, well, what else can that mean? And we start putting those pieces of the puzzle together.

Early on, I went to see a psychic medium in my local town. I was building a healing room off the hair salon at my house, and I said to him, who do I think I am? Who do I think I am to believe that I'm a medium when I haven't even done a reading? He looked me in the eyes and said, who do you think you are not to do this work? That stayed with me forever.

Go deeper: to know Spirit is to know yourself.

How do you connect with your spirit guides, and the people you love?

You're already connected to your guides. You're already receiving information. We just want to make it a little more straight lined, so you can actually tell if it's your guide or if it's yourself.

Too many of us have been taught to put guides on a pedestal. Well, yes, I will do that when the guides bring me money. Oh, my guides told me to do this. And this is when I say, what do you want to do? They don't want to be on pedestals. They want to hang out with you and give you guidance when you require it. You are the queen of your castle. You make the decisions. They are your entourage.

I remember a friend at school who walked behind our group. One day I said to her, if you want to be our friend, you have to walk with us, not behind us. I feel the same about guides. We're here to walk with our guides, not behind them waiting to see where they're going to take us. That is not powerful. That is powerlessness.

You are your number one guide. Everything you receive goes through your very own filter.

Do you need their names?

People get stuck on names. Why do we struggle to get names? Two reasons. Quite often they don't have names, because they are energy. Some of them have bodies, some of them are just light. And the second reason is, their name doesn't matter. What matters is the energetic connection. You might get a visual, a number, a feeling or a message.

When you're ready, after your sixty seconds of Spirit Mode, say in your mind or out loud: I call upon my spirit guides of the highest light. I am open to receiving a clear message now. Then notice who is around you. Whatever came through, you didn't make it up. You were filtering through things.

The people you love

You do not need to go chase spirit or go find spirit. Spirit is right here. You are spirit. And those that we love that have passed away, that no longer have bodies, they are here too. We just need to tune into another frequency.

Your loved ones that have passed over simply don't have a body anymore, so you're going to find a new way to connect. And when they come through, they're coming through to give you a subtle message. That is usually, I love you and I'm okay, and you're going to be okay too. More often than not, they just want to say, I love you, I miss you, I'm proud of you, keep going. This is why I do what I do.

Our ancestors, our grandparents and our loved ones can be our guides too. Maybe you stopped for a moment to catch your breath on a walk and you see the feather. Maybe that song is playing again and you know that's them.

Go deeper: your spirit team, who is with you and how to work with them.

Which psychic sense is yours, and do you need the tools?

Every single person has all of these senses. Clairvoyance, so you can see. Clairaudience, so you can hear. Clairsentience, so you can feel. Claircognizance, the knowing. Some are stronger than others, but we have the ability to connect to every single one of them.

When I first started, I thought being psychic was seeing a movie play out of my head. I was all Hollywood, waiting for the big dramaticness to come through. And it didn't happen that way. For me, it was clairsentience. I felt deeply in my body, in my senses, that Spirit was around. I wasn't seeing with my third eye and I wasn't hearing with my ears. I was literally sensing it within my body.

How do you find your strength? Your everyday living. I'm clairsentient because I can smell a rat, I can sense if something goes off, and I can read people like a book. Ask yourself, are you good at sensing if something's not quite right? Do you just know what you know? Did you know if something was off when you were younger?

If you can't visualise

We've been conditioned to believe that psychic equals seeing, and it truly isn't the case. People come to me saying, I can't see, I want to see, and they make a whole lot of mistaken beliefs about how they're not psychic because they can't see. But seeing is only one tiny part of the equation. People who have aphantasia, or cannot visualise clearly, are usually super psychic, and can be a cleaner and clearer channel than those that are seeing. When I'm channelling, I often close my eyes so I can hyperfocus on what I am actually feeling.

The clairs are like muscles. You might have a stronger upper body or a stronger lower body, but you have a whole body. Find the strong one, get confident with it, and the others start to activate.

If you've been experiencing a lack of seeing, you may be a whole lot more psychic than you ever gave yourself credit for.

Cards, crystals and the rest

Do we need crystals? No. Do I choose to use them? Yes, because I will use anything that's going to enhance my readings. Playing with all the toys is just a bonus. We all need toys. But if you drop your barriers, you expand and you lead with love, your psychic mediumship will come to you.

I love oracle cards. Cards are amazing, but they are not to be completely relied on. Your intuition comes first. A psychic medium who pulls a card and reads from the book is not doing psychic mediumship. That's reading from a card. You have to use your own gut. I can pull out three cards and they mean nothing to me, until I start bringing through that thread of awareness, and then all of a sudden the cards start talking to me.

Follow the thread. Say Spirit gives you a rose. A lot of people stop there. I've got a rose, I'm done. Keep going. Ask, rose, why? Who does this belong to? What does it connect to? Show me more. Stop trying to solve the puzzle after one piece.

Is it safe to open up to Spirit?

If you are not a little bit scared of delving into mediumship, I'd be a little bit worried. I was absolutely petrified to dive into my gifts. I was afraid my husband was going to think I was crazy.

When people come into my program saying, I'm feeling all the fear, I'm like, this is good. It means you've got skin in the game. It means you're human. It means you're using your discernment.

So I'm not going to tell you there's nothing to fear. I'm going to tell you how to be in your power. These are the four key codes.

• Safety. You have to feel safe in your body. Connecting to Spirit is all about being in, not being out. Any good medium will help you calm your body down, because to tune in we need to feel safe within the nervous system.
• Boundaries. To know spirit is to know yourself. If you've got loosey goosey boundaries with the humans around you, you're going to have loosey goosey boundaries with Spirit.
• Grounded. We don't walk on the earth, we walk in the earth. We go in to go out. We anchor down to go up.
• In your power. Start with a tiny flame in your heart space. Every time you breathe in, it gets bigger. Every time you breathe out, it gets bigger, until you are in the flame. I walk with the flame. I walk in the fire.

Spirit is not allowed to wake me up

I used to have loose boundaries and I never slept. My ears were constantly ringing, songs looping, mind chatter, faces. It wasn't Spirit's fault. It was my lack of boundaries. And when I looked at my human life, yeah, I was a people pleaser. I was always discounting my services as a hairdresser. I was saying yes instead of saying no.

Now I have work hours. If someone knocked on my door at midnight, I'd say, why are you here in the middle of the night? I'd expect a really good reason. Spirit is not allowed to wake me up when I'm sleeping. Hey, come back when I'm actually awake, not three in the morning.

One day I'd told Spirit I'd meet them at one o'clock. I was still doing my client's hair, chatting away about products, and all of a sudden I started getting sleepy, going into Spirit Mode. My client said, Victoria, are you okay? I looked at the time and said, oh, I've got a meeting. That meeting was with Spirit. So I said, hey guys, I'll be back with you in five minutes, let me finish with my client. And then I went and connected for the five minutes I'd allocated. Spirit is basically reading your vibration. Tell them how it is, and they will respect it.

Your power is your protection. You don't need a protective bubble. You are the strongest entity in your reality, and your power is your greatest protection.

Go deeper: protecting your energy as a sensitive, grounding practices that work.

People also ask

Is everyone really a medium?

Yes. The truth is we are all psychic mediums, because without your body you are Spirit, and every single baby that is born can see spirits.

Do you have to see Spirit to be a medium?

No. You don't have to see spirit to connect into spirit, and for most people it is the subtleties we feel within our body that connect us in.

How do I know it's Spirit and not my imagination?

Spirit is subtle and persistent, it doesn't come from fear, and it lands in your body. Imagination and Spirit use the same door in your mind, so trust the first thing that comes through and build your spirit dictionary one entry at a time.

Before you go, sixty seconds

Drop your barriers. Connect to your breath. Expand. Notice what you notice, and write one line in your spirit dictionary. That's it. Simple, not necessarily easy.

It's not about trying harder. It's not about becoming someone else. It's about becoming clearer.

To know Spirit is to know yourself. Everyone is a medium, including you.

Victoria Bond was a hairdresser in a small New Zealand town until she woke up to her gifts at 33. Author of Everyone Is a Medium. Read her story.