Connecting with loved ones in Spirit: a gentle three step practice

Have you ever wondered if you could connect to those that have passed away? I'm guessing that's a yes, and that's why you landed on this video. If you have lost somebody close to you, this question would have gone through your mind. And maybe you haven't lost somebody close to you, but you're fascinated in Spirit. In this video, we're going to dive into the unseen realms where Spirit resides. We're going to dive into spiritual practices to help you connect to Spirit, and I'm going to tell you a little story about my own mediumship experience, and how I really started talking to Spirit when I turned 33.

My name is Victoria Bond. I'm a psychic medium and a spiritual empowerment coach, and yes, at 33 I started exploring my own spirituality. I got rid of a lot of the programs, the conditions and the rules that I had been brought up with, and I started finding my very own truth. So before we get into it, make sure you're comfortable. You might want a pen and paper. Maybe you want to lie down and just receive this information. Most people like to watch these videos a few times.

This is the question that we're asking. What is after this life? Where do my loved ones go? How do I connect with them? Where are they? And one word that I want to share with you is energy. Once we can access the energetics of the spirit realms that are unseen, we realise we don't need to see with our eyes to connect.

Before I tell you my story, what is your story? What did you think about death? What did you think about ghosts? Did you think anything about energy? Did you ever see anything? Did you ever feel anything? Maybe your caregivers were having a little bit of a disagreement, and the energy would shift and change. This of course isn't talked about a lot. We haven't been taught to look beyond face value, or what people are saying, to read energy. It's something we have simply not been taught to do, and something that I pride myself on teaching first and foremost when it comes to mediumship.

What were the stories that you were told? Maybe you watched them on television, or maybe you went to church. What were the stories about Spirit? What were the stories about life after death? Usually we will adopt a belief system from our parents, because they're here to nurture us and guide us. Some people just kind of wake up the moment they're born, and some people, like myself, it took until 33 to start questioning my belief systems. But the truth is, we all come to a point where we start going, well, what is true for me? And we need to look at what those original belief systems were, and see what aligns and what doesn't.

Were you told not to dabble? Were you told to give it up to God? Were you told that you were such a strong being and nothing could hurt you? Were you told that monsters weren't real? Were you told that ghosts weren't real, or were you told that they were true? You might want to pause the video and write a little story, or get your journal out, and really take a moment to go, what did I believe when I was younger, that I was told?

My story. I had a really interesting childhood, because I was brought up Catholic, and it was not strict, because my dad was kind of more atheist and my Mum was kind of religious. So I had the best of both worlds, which I loved, because my dad was like, I like the morals of the church, but do what you want, trust your own gut. And I was brought up with some really cool stories of ghosts and spirits. My great grandmother would always hear a knock on the door. The kids would go to the door, open the door, no one was there, and she would say, oh no, I wonder who's died now. And it was always a neighbour or a relative that had passed away. So I grew up with stories like that, and they were light, and it was like, wow, that's so cool.

The stories were in abundance, but there was this disconnect. I'd love to tell my friends the stories, but it was still not connected to me, meaning I don't have any gifts, I don't see any spirit, no one's knocking on my door. These are just my ancestors. And the polarity of that was, don't dabble, give it up to God, you don't have any power. Even if you thought, oh, I'd love to get some oracle cards or some crystals or do some yoga, it was kind of like, oh no, no, no, you go to church. So in a way, I kind of put my ancestors on a little bit of a pedestal.

I remember at four or five years old being so scared of my wardrobe and so scared of my thoughts, and just going, I'm going to go to hell, because I'd been going to church my whole life. I went to my Mum and my auntie crying, and I was like, I don't want to go to hell. I swore that the devil was going to get me. And of course, when we're in fear, and we've had those stories, those seeds really sowing into our childhood, we will function from that, of needing to stay safe and humble and small. It is actually dangerous to stay small, to stay mediocre and to not explore myself, because that will make me not be myself. That will make me be the belief systems, the limitations, of those that came before me. And actually, I want to honour them.

The other thing is, I've always been like, I'm not very special. I'm so average. I'm perfectly average at school. I said that for so many years. But the truth is, it's because I had an expectation that mediums look a certain way. When you go get a reading, you go through those beaded curtains, you walk in, there's smoke, there's a crystal ball, and they're like, pick a card, any card. I've been to so many mediums like that, and I love it, but it's actually not necessary, because we are all mediums. We are all gifted. We are all psychic. And just because I didn't see ghosts in front of me or talking to me as a child doesn't mean I didn't have experiences.

When I was still really young, four or five, I used to see colours in my eyes when I went to sleep at night. I wasn't afraid to go to sleep. I was just like, what can I see? And I'd see these balls of colour. I'd go into my Mum and Dad's room and say, I can see the lights, and she'd be like, just go to sleep. So I have a lot of empathy for children, and I totally believe them, because I remember what that felt like. And of course, I shut it down. Even in my early thirties, someone told me, oh my God, that was you connecting to Spirit, and I'd be like, whatever, it's just a few colours in my eyes. But I had the evidence that something happened. Although it seems small, for me that's evidence that I was seeing something beyond the veil.

So I'm really curious, what did you experience? Maybe it was a feeling. Maybe you saw something. Maybe you imagined something and it happened. A lot of kids will predict something, or have some type of vision, or sense something. That's where your sixth sense will always connect in, when you're a child. If you can remember this, and you can look at both of the polarities that we've just spoken about, what was the epicness, and what was the, oh, don't go there, and bring your conscious awareness to both of those, you will open up absolutely massively. Once I started opening up to my sisters, we started activating one another, and now we're all psychic mediums. The ripple effect is real.

I was having some really hardcore noises going on in my ears, that really high pitched kind of sound, and for me that means that Spirit is talking to me. Now, I'm guessing that you've had some signs and symptoms, or evidence. Maybe it's an energetic knowing. Maybe it's, oh my gosh, my ears are ringing. Goosebumps is a typical symptom. Why do I speak about these small things? Because 99% of us experience connection with Spirit in a very, very subtle way, so it's so easy to dismiss the signs and synchronicities. But first of all, we need to tap into the energy of awareness. When my ear was ringing, that was telling me something, so I start asking questions. What are you telling me?

Spirit is constantly talking to us, but they're not necessarily talking in English. They're not necessarily solid, standing in front of us. They're not necessarily coming in our dreams and sitting down and having a conversation, although these things are all possible. I certainly did have a dream one day about my granddad. He passed when I was fifteen, and we were very close. I ran up to my granddad and I sat on his knee, and he was in his rocking chair, just rocking with me. I wasn't an adult in the dream. I was like an eleven year old. It was going back to nearly like a memory, but it wasn't a memory.

And he's like, I've got to go now, Victoria. And I said, no, Grandad, don't go, don't go, I miss you. And I was like, is this a dream, Grandad? And he's like, this isn't a dream, but I have to go. And I was just crying. I feel like crying now. And then I woke up, and I was like, well, that was a dream, and a little voice in my head said, it wasn't a dream. So yes, sometimes we have profound experiences like that, and sometimes we dismiss those profound experiences. But how can we create a simple practice where we can explore our gifts and trust and have faith that we're connecting to Spirit? That's what we're going to go into now.

Sometimes I feel like there's a fly on top of my head, and it's nearly like this tingle, maybe of the chakra. We've got all these different chakras and meridians and senses. So how do we know that we're connecting in with Spirit? Because the truth is, you have been seeded with so much doubt your entire life, and that's why I wanted to bring the attention to your childhood. So many of you have had brilliant upbringings. But the programming is always happening around us, and the conditioning, and the self doubt, and wanting to fit in. So let's find your uniqueness.

Are you ready to dive into three simple practices that are going to help you connect in to your loved ones that have passed away? First of all, we want to clear the space. Then we want to tune in. And then we want to connect. It's really important to do clearing. When I was going through my awakening, I was seeing feathers everywhere, and I had songs constantly playing, the same five words out of a chorus over and over for three days straight. I couldn't sleep. These were my symptoms. But your symptoms will be turned into your superpowers when you understand how to manage them.

Clearing is really important, because for me, I was so overwhelmed. I'd never been taught about energy. A lot of people go, but Vic, I just want to talk to dead people. How do you know what you're talking to if you've got monkey mind? How do you know what you're listening to if your body is all up the duff, because you're an empath? So first of all, we need to understand the mind to clear it, and the body, to make sure it's a clear channel. And we've got to be able to really tune in, which is step two, where we can actually tune into the energetics around us and within us, and know the difference.

We clear the mind, the body and the being. Most people say mind, body and soul. I say the mind, the body and the being, because the being is the spirit. So clearing is really fundamental when it comes to being a medium and playing it safe. I always say, to know Spirit is to know yourself, because essentially you are a spirit, you just have a body. Before doing this video, I spent quite a bit of time clearing my mind and clearing my body, so I could be a clean channel. That is why I was able to hear my ear going into that high pitched ringing, because I could tell that was external from me.

So let's clear the space. We're going to use some vibration. I highly recommend vibration and sound, like little bells or a sound bowl, because it goes beyond our own hearing. It raises our vibration within our body, within our being, and it clears our mind, because our mind is focusing on the one sound. So listen to it until the end. Close your eyes down when you're ready, and take a nice deep breath into your belly, relaxing your jaw, your chest, your belly. That's it. And breathing out. On your next breath in, I'm going to invite you to breathe in and then hold the breath at the top, just for three seconds, noticing the stillness, and then breathing out slowly out your mouth. Continue this breath until the sound of the bells has finished.

Just noticing your mind clearing. If you find it hard to clear your mind, like so many people, I invite you to just say quietly in your mind, breathing in, as you're breathing in, and breathing out, as you're breathing out. This will really get your mind focusing on the one thing that you're doing, and not the to do list. I really invite you to spend at least five minutes clearing the mind and doing this breath before you do mediumship or connect in with Spirit. When you're ready, open your eyes and have a little look at your hands. You've had a lot more oxygen. You may feel a little bit more relaxed. Look around the room. There's no emergency.

Then we set an intention that we are a clear space, that we are a clear channel, and that we are ready to tune into Spirit. This is so important, because so many of us are like, I want to talk to Spirit, I want to talk to Spirit, why isn't it happening? There's a difference between the voice in our head that's going a hundred miles an hour, and the stillness. And stillness does speak.

So let's get into the second part. We've cleared the mind and the body and the being, and now we want to be tuning in. Where do you think you tune into? Do you think that you tune into the external, or the internal? Most people believe that we have to tune in externally, because what is actually coming in is external, just like the sound that I heard. But I was only able to access that because I am in the internal. So tuning in means, to know Spirit is to know you. As we breathe in, we're really noticing the breath coming in. As we breathe out, we're noticing it leave. How often are we not tuning into ourselves, into our wants and our needs and our feelings and our gut during the day? When I tune into myself, I know my own feelings. I know my own gut knowing. I know my own signs and synchronicities of connecting into Spirit.

So tuning in, I invite you to close your eyes and look up and in slightly, until you feel a little bit of pressure at your third eye. Using your breath, it's like you're breathing in through the third eye all the way down to your belly, and your belly is literally your second brain. As you breathe out, you're breathing out any mind chatter, limitations, mistaken beliefs. So you're breathing in love and light through the third eye, bringing it all the way down the centre of your body, and you're breathing out and down into relaxation. I call this coming into spirit mode. Visualise it as love and light, even sparkles if you want, going down to your belly, filling the belly right up. Don't be afraid to let that belly out. Notice the pause, and then breathe out long and slow through your mouth.

Spirit mode is where you come into a space which is like a dream state. Most people don't get here because they want, they want, they want. I want to connect with Spirit. And you're like, chill out, let's come into our bodies. It's coming into a meditative state, where you can start allowing the thoughts, the visions, the feelings, the emotions to pop up. I liken it to when you're going to sleep, and you start drifting off, and all these kind of weird things start popping in. But when you're doing it while setting an intention to connect to Spirit, to your loved ones that have passed, magical miracles happen. All of a sudden I'm like, oh, there's my granddad. I just thought about my granddad.

You're all more psychic than you give yourself credit for. Once you clear your space and you start tuning in, even if it's only five minutes of breath, just noticing what you're noticing, and then maybe five minutes of journaling, your whole life will change. So let's breathe in and breathe out. What do I see? What do I know? What do I feel? What can I allow myself to perceive? What am I ready to receive? And just notice how you're feeling. If you're feeling a little bit freaked out, stay in it, because every time we do a new skill there's always going to be a little bit of a stretch.

A friend asked me, you said everyone's psychic, do you really believe that? And I said, are you your body? And she was like, I've got my body and my soul. And I said, you are not your body, but you have a body. We are often ignoring what we call the gut, and the gut, yes, it's a feeling within the body, but it's also your being guiding you. So if we can allow ourselves to get out of our mind and stop trying so hard, and come into spirit mode and tune in to what will come without expectation, your mind will absolutely blow. The last thing I'll say with this is, balancing the chakras is really important. When I first started tuning into Spirit, I did a seven minute chakra meditation with sound, and I would balance my chakras every single day. If your vessel is out of alignment, it's so much harder to tune into what Spirit is trying to tell you.

Number three is the actual connection. A lot of people want to jump straight to connecting. A lot of people can, but they can't hold it. The reason why we do the clearing and the reason why we do the tuning in is because we need to transcend beyond the mind. Spirit works really, really hard to come and give us the signs and the synchronicities, from the ear frequency to the third eye tickle, to the head tickle, to the 111, the 222, the monarch butterflies that show up every single day. I've had many different types of birds that come to me giving me signs. To make the physical appear for us humans is really hard for Spirit, and takes them a very long time, and we dismiss it because we're in such a finite reality that's so dense and solid.

It was subtle for me until it wasn't, because it kept building up, because I kept ignoring the signs. And this is why a lot of spiritually inclined people, the empaths, can really struggle. We just don't need to struggle if we are going through these processes, because we want to look after our temple as well. When it comes to connecting to Spirit, my number one hack is we need to speed up a little bit. Energy is faster than light, and we ask Spirit, if they can, to just slow down a little bit. Spirit is not speaking in English. I'm translating their energetic vibration, and then it's landing into words. That's why having the clear body and the clear space is so important, because otherwise you're missing how to perceive what they're saying.

You want your body to be safe and anchored and held. I visualise cords coming from my feet, expanding into a thousand golden cords per cord, really earthing, holding the earth underneath my body. A lot of people don't think that their imagination is connecting to Spirit, and I completely disagree with that, because your imagination is everything when it comes to connecting in with Spirit. My imagination is brilliant, but it's because I did the clearing first. I cleared the mind, so anything that comes in, I know is correct. So you ask Spirit to slow down, and then you connect. That could be a room. That could be going to an island. Quite often I will take people into a room.

One of my clients, who had done my certification, came to me for a one to one session, and she said, I really want to connect to my husband, who has passed, if he comes through. So we did the clearing, and then we did the tuning in, and I helped her get into a space of receptivity, to receive. She used her greatest imagination to connect, in a room with a door. I used questions to prompt her greatest imagination. I wasn't saying, your husband is here, he is saying this. I wasn't dictating. I was guiding. She was awake. She wasn't hypnotised. And I'm asking her questions: what does your room look like? Where are you? I knew she was at a beach, and I knew her husband was next to her. I didn't prompt that her husband was coming. That's what she chose.

She had this really beautiful experience for the first time, where she was able to see her husband, see what he was wearing, and hear the messages. She could see him and feel him, and he was right there, and she could feel the sunshine. She was tapping into all the clairs. It was beautiful, it really, really was. A lot of it is just having the faith and the knowing that it's going to happen. Talking to Spirit, it's like going for a coffee date. You go sit down with your friend, and of course you're going to sit there and talk to your friend. Why wouldn't you? You're not going to sit there and just be on your phone even though your friend's arrived. It's a meet up. You just can't meet up here in the same way, because Spirit doesn't have a body. He no longer has a body, but he still has his being. He still has his spirit.

Why don't we do this naturally? We do it a little bit in the dream state, and half the time we forget about it. But going back to the very beginning of this session, it's because of the mistaken beliefs, the limitations, the conditioning that we have experienced. For me: don't dabble, the devil's on your back, don't think too much for yourself. Five years old, I'm absolutely freaking out that I'm going to hell because I had a thought. So we don't think anything is possible, and we stay average and mediocre, and just do whatever it is to stay safe. So we need to understand that it is safe to connect in with Spirit. It is more safe than it ever has been, because the collective is accepting it more. What I'm trying to say here is everyone can connect to those that they love in Spirit. It does require a little bit of patience.

Crystals, too. Rose quartz, some people think, oh, rose quartz, that's kind of basic and just common, and I'm like, do not go anywhere without a rose quartz. If you have children, every child should have a rose quartz. And if you are wanting to connect to your loved one in Spirit, you want a rose quartz. Why? Because it is connected to the heart. Love is the thing that's going to help us connect. Love conquers all, we hear that all the time. And to know Spirit is to know yourself. So if you can love yourself, if you look after yourself, if you can love those around you and connect to the earth, and even if you are grieving, if you can find what gives you gratitude, your whole world will open up. The warm fuzzies is the thing that helps you to connect.

I love fluorite for connecting in with Spirit. It's a light crystal, and it allows me to connect and channel to Spirit around me very easily, but it's still a really grounding crystal, and it's really fantastic for those that are beginning to connect in with Spirit. Clear quartz is very, very powerful, an all round crystal. And selenite, I take it everywhere. Crystals are like friends, just like cards are. I like the connection to be a sacred connection, so really taking the time to create the space, whether you've got five minutes or fifty five minutes or five hours. It doesn't have to be a very long experience. All I'm really doing is reminding you of what you already know.

My story used to be, when I was waking up, I don't have enough time. I started going to a chi healer, and one day we got five minutes each with him, and he said, it's very important for you to meditate. And I said to him, I don't have time to meditate. I've got two babies. I don't have time for anything. I'm overwhelmed. My ears are constantly popping. And he said, you must find time to meditate. And I thought, well, it's easy for him to say. But I did go home, and I found twenty minutes a day to meditate. I think back to where I was then, and I'm literally a different person, because I took the advice of someone. Once I started meditating, and clearing the chakras every day, the mind started quietening down, and I started noticing the ears popping, and feathers would fall from the sky, and there's another monarch butterfly.

And then one day I had a dream, and there was a girl I knew from school who had passed away, and she was saying to me, I really want you to connect to my Mum. And I'm like, what? I'm just me. What the heck? I'd just started learning what chakras are, and energy. It was a whole year of her talking to me. I'd be in the shower and all of a sudden a song would come on about angels, and I'd be singing the song really, really loud, and I'd get, it's me, you need to talk to my Mum. Then there would be monarch butterflies, and I started questioning, why are all these monarch butterflies coming? Because it's me, you need to talk to my Mum. Butterflies and feathers and angels, and 111 or 222, like ten times in a day.

I didn't want to mess with somebody, because to lose a child, I'm imagining, is the hardest thing you could ever go through. I don't want to be a party trick. I don't want to be a medium who goes, I've got your Mum here, she says she loves you, and the end of story. We know that we love each other. What is the purpose of this? She helped me explore how to bring depth into mediumship. So I said, if I get three more signs today, I'll do it. And I got those three signs, and they were so powerful, all within about an hour, and the last straw was when my phone rang, and I answered it, and it was a client with the very same name, asking for a hair appointment, because I was a hairdresser.

So I rang up her Mum, and I said, can you come over? And she came over. I don't want to mess with anybody. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings. What if this isn't right? I'm pacing, I'm freaking out. I sat down and told her everything that had happened in that year, including the presents I had dropped off randomly, because her daughter had been saying, buy that for my Mum. I'd go put it on her Mum's front porch saying, love, Victoria, and I felt like a fraud, because I knew it should have said love from her daughter. Every single thing I said resonated. I told her about the song about angels and the feathers, and she said, oh my goodness, at school she made massive big wings full of feathers. Her nickname was Angel. Pink was her favourite colour, and monarch butterflies were a thing for her. She had them on her wall.

At the very end, I said, I've got something for you, and I have to admit, all the presents up until now haven't been from me, they've been from her. I gave her this little tiny present. It was a little cupid holding a little bouquet of baby pink flowers. I had the exact right amount of money. The shop was open when it never usually is. It is an absolute miracle what Spirit does for us. And her Mum just burst out crying, and she said, this means the world to me. You'll never know how much this means to me. I still to this day don't know what that cupid holding those pink flowers meant, and I knew it was between the two of them.

That moment of giving a Mum a present from her daughter who had passed, and me finally being brave enough to say, hey, can I talk to you, changed my life forever. Well and truly changed my life forever. And I'm getting a bit emotional about this, because if it wasn't for her believing in me, I don't know if any of it would have happened. Once you make a promise to Spirit, like, I'm going to show up for a coffee, you have to, because maybe they've prepared this for months or years for this interaction, so you must respect that. She taught me boundaries. She taught me how to connect in with Spirit. She taught me every single one of the clairs, from me seeing her, from me hearing her, from me knowing. She was my mentor for an entire year.

I couldn't believe that I was going to be teaching mediumship. I was like, are you kidding me? I'm the one in my family line that doesn't have the gift. I'm the one who is so average. I'm not special. But the thing is, we are all special, and we all do have gifts, and we all do connect, but we do connect in unique ways. Being an empath is when we feel Spirit. Especially in the first couple of years when I was connecting Spirit to their loved ones, I would be sitting there crying, trying not to cry, because it was overwhelming. But now I've learned to hold it better, realising it's not me that's crying. It's the connection that I'm tuning into, and that's how I know that if there's emotions connected, it's because I feel it.

We all have so many senses and things to connect into, but it's near impossible to be a medium if you're trying to read from your head. Use your greatest imagination, but read from your heart and tune into your knowing. A tool is only as powerful as the user. You can have the fanciest computer in the world and not know how to use it, and therefore it's only as good as the user. So you are the channel here. You really are. If you practice and you stick to it, your mediumship abilities, just like any skill set that you put your hand to, will completely explode in all the right ways.

A lot of people say, Victoria, you're so grounded. And I do notice a lot of people aren't grounded when they're doing spiritual work, because they're really identifying with their spirit self, and they're not giving enough credit to the human, to the body. That's why before any type of session, it's so important for me to have the space and the preparation, to really clear, tune in and connect. With my client who connected with her husband, it wasn't like, okay, let's get results. It was more like, what can we do as we dance with Spirit today? Feel free to watch this half a dozen times, to take notes, to pause it. I believe that every single one of us is Spirit. Your gifts are different to mine, and your abilities are so, so powerful. You start identifying with your spirit, and co creating with the body and the mind, rather than letting the mind and the body go on autopilot, and you start remembering who you are as a soul.