How to become a psychic medium, a beginner's guide from a mum who woke up to her gifts at 33

How to become a psychic medium when you didn't grow up seeing Spirit: the sense you already use, the way to practice, and why it isn't too late. From a mum who woke up to her gifts at 33.

You are already a medium and you talk to spirit, you just don't know it yet. So becoming a psychic medium is not about adding something to you. You don't actually need to learn how to access your psychic abilities. You just need to remember.

What does it mean to become a psychic medium? Mediumship is all about remembering who you are. You don't have to be born with it. Mediumship, psychic abilities, even your intuition is trained. We've got to practice. Mediumship is all got to do with energy. It has got nothing to do with our mind or our brain. The only thing that we use our brain and our mind for is putting the pieces of the puzzle together, like the charades. Energy is our first language. To become a psychic medium is to remember that language, find the sense you already use, and practice until you trust what you receive.

That is the whole guide in three lines. The rest of this page is how I did it, starting at 33 with no idea what I was doing, and how you can start tonight.

Watch the lesson: How to become a psychic medium: free mediumship training for beginners, free, with chapters you can tap and the full transcript. Or start where she started: her very first lesson.

How did a hairdresser become a psychic medium at 33?

I wasn't born awake seeing spirit. I wasn't born awake, conscious, knowing what my path was. It wasn't until I was 33 years old, I had my second child.

Coming from a long line of mediums, I thought I absolutely had no genes that were intuitive or psychic. So I just thought I was perfectly average.

I remember sitting there at the end of my bed, feeling so much guilt and shame. I had two beautiful children, two little beautiful children. I was sleep-deprived. I had a hair salon below my house. My husband had a good job. We were just getting by financially, making ends meet.

It wasn't until I was pregnant with my son, my second child, Christian, and after I had him that I started putting two and two together that the signs and synchronicities, my dreams, the songs I was receiving in my head continuously was actually spirit trying to talk to me. The signs and the synchronicities were just going off the radar, 111, 222, especially the 111, all the time. I wasn't sleeping. My ears were plopping. I saw feathers everywhere and monarch butterflies.

I don't know if I was going crazy or if I was super gifted. And when I had my big bang awakening, the truth is I had no support. I had no resources. And I didn't know any of this stuff. I didn't know how to practice, what I was going to see.

So everything on this page is what I wish someone had handed me then. But now I do. Because it is a skill set we can develop.

I am not special. I am a psychic medium who remembered and I'm here to show you that you can remember too.

Can anyone become a psychic medium, or do you have to be born with it?

Let's deal with the biggest myth first. They don't even try to explore them because they feel like they weren't born with them. And you either have the gift or you don't, which is the biggest myth of all.

Can anyone be a medium? Short answer, absolutely. Every single person is a medium, but we've all got different abilities. It's just like everybody can run, but not everyone can run really well.

Here is where the myth came from. You're in a world that has been deeply conditioned. In the movies, it is the psychic kid seeing the ghost that is the gifted one, while the rest of us are normal. In science, if you can't measure it under a microscope, then it doesn't exist. And in religion, if it doesn't fit into the box, if it's too woo-woo or out of the rules, then it's deemed dangerous and even evil.

And here is the truth underneath it. You were aware of energy, of spirit around you, and you were receptive to receiving information. But somewhere along the line, you were conditioned to forget. Somewhere, usually around about seven years old, we start filling up our brain with numbers and words and, of course, learning to fit into society. This is good, because education is good and it's healthy, but your intuitive gifts were put to the side and, truth be told, they were not safe for you to access.

So this is not about becoming something new. Your psychic mediumship abilities, like I've said so many times already, are within you. And they're just being remembered. So yes, we can say they're being activated. But the truth is, they're being remembered.

People think that mediums are super gifted or super weird or super woo-woo, and usually come from a long line of mediums. Yes, this can be true. But really, all personalities, all ages and stages can tune into their mediumship abilities. You don't need crystals, incense or to be born special to connect with spirit.

Sometimes it's like taking the cobwebs off something that hasn't been used for a while. It's like riding a bike. You never forget how to ride the bike. You just have to get practiced and find your legs again.

Which psychic sense do you already use?

Have you ever wondered why some people see visions? Some people hear guidance and some people just know things. This is where to start.

When I first started, I thought being psychic was seeing a movie play out of my head. I thought being psychic was seeing a spirit in front of me and being able to have maybe a verbal conversation and hearing what they had to say. I was all like Hollywood, waiting for the big dramaticness to come through. And it didn't. It didn't happen that way. When I did tune into my dominant clair, everything opened up and I was able to utilise all of the clairs and work on each and every individual one to strengthen my abilities. I simply hadn't realised the channel that I had naturally. And for me, it was clairsentience. I felt deeply in my body, in my senses, that spirit was around or there was energies around me. I wasn't seeing with my third eye and I wasn't hearing with my ears. I was literally sensing it within my body.

Messages are usually felt within the body. Seeing spirit is usually in the imagination. Hearing can often be with your own voice. So here are the four doors, and how each one actually shows up.

• Clairsentience, feeling. Door one is all about feeling. This is clairsentience. This is actually my most powerful one. But it never used to be. I used to be able to feel nothing. Feeling comes natural to us because we are feeling, sensitive, empathic and compassionate human beings. If you've been trying to feel spirit or feel another, and you've been feeling like you're blocked, you are trying too hard.
• Clairvoyance, seeing. Your greatest imagination is how you see. You can see if you can imagine. Never with my eyes, always in my imagination. And the thing that I do that makes me so successful when I'm using my clairvoyance abilities is I allow the picture to unfold like a movie. And if this is all you take from this page, that your greatest imagination is actually a psychic ability, then my job is done.
• Clairaudience, hearing. Your higher self, your future self, your guides and spirit are often talking in your very own voice. A lot of people are waiting for a voice from outside. It is far quieter than that, and it sounds like you.
• Claircognizance, knowing. How do you explain it when you're talking to a friend and you just start telling them something and they go, how the hell do you know that? And you're like, I don't know, it just came out of me. That's claircognizance. The last thing I want to say about claircognizance is we ignore it because we're trusting what people are telling us, or what we're hearing, what we're seeing.

Now, which one is yours? Unfortunately, this is the biggest thing that is stopping people from being the best mediums and psychics ever: they think they don't have the gift because they don't see. But maybe it's just not the strongest skill. What I recommend you do is find out which clairs are strong. What are your strengths? Tune into them, get confident with them, and then we can start building up the other clairs.

I always like to use the gym as an analogy. We might have stronger legs more than our arms. Our upper body might be a little bit weaker than our lower body. That might be a natural thing. But it doesn't mean that you can't work that upper body to become stronger than what it was. Here's a little secret. When you find your dominant clair, you are literally opening the floodgates for all of the clairs to come into a symphony.

One more thing, for the women who have been told they are not visual. People that have aphantasia or cannot visualise clearly are usually super psychic and can be a cleaner and clearer channel than those that are seeing. Here is what no one has told you. You are not meant to see, hear, feel and know spirit like everybody else does.

If you've been experiencing a lack of seeing, you may be a whole lot more psychic than you ever gave yourself credit for.

Why can't you think yourself psychic?

I made this mistake for years. A lot of people will not do these things, and they wonder why they're stuck in their head trying to think themselves psychic. You can't think yourself psychic, you are psychic. You need to access that.

You can't succeed as a medium from intellect. You can understand it, but it doesn't mean you're great at it. You have to experience it. Your psychicness doesn't come from your thinking. Your third eye is not your thinking mind.

So if you've sat down with the candle and the cards and tried really hard, this is why nothing came. If you're meditating and you're trying to meditate, trying to see, focus, focus, focus, and you're not getting anything, it's because you're too awake.

I spent years going to chi classes, going to meditation classes, listening to meditations during the night, during the day, going, why can't I see anything? Why am I not receiving any messages? And the minute I stopped trying and I started allowing and coming into the breath and allowing myself to go into a sleepy mode, I call this spirit mode in my certification. When we go into sleepy mode, which is the space between awake and asleep, all of a sudden we can start receiving through our heart space.

You already know this place. You're starting to go to sleep at night or it's first thing in the morning and you're drifting. We call this drifting. We're coming in and out of sleep. All of a sudden you're seeing someone that you love in spirit and they're giving you a message and you're thinking this is a dream. You wake up out of it and it disappears because your brain clicks in, trying to remember it. This is mediumship.

When you're present with spirit, you've got to be out of your mind and in your heart.

The minute I stopped trying so hard to see spirit, I started to see spirit.

What does Spirit actually feel like when it comes through?

I was 33 years old, standing in the kitchen preparing dinner for my family. I'm looking out the window at the kids playing in my beautiful garden when I sensed something behind me. I sensed a warm feeling to my left and my ears started heating up. I felt tingles, like someone was walking on my grave. I turned around and there was no one there. I just passed it off as a coincidence, my great imagination, just being a little bit silly. And then it happened again. And I realised this was not a coincidence at all.

That is what it feels like. Not a figure at the end of the bed. The truth is, spirit comes in whispers and little nudges and little flashes. Spirit is not yelling from somewhere else. Spirit is whispering. But we are just not hearing them because we are waiting for the thing that is loud. It's kind of like we're looking for the lightning in the sky, but we miss the rumble, right?

So how do you tell the whisper from your own mind? I remember when I went to do my first reading. I was absolutely petrified, freaking out. I held a deck of cards. And I literally heard a voice that said, put down your cards. How did I know that it wasn't my voice? Because it was in my voice. It sounded like me. It was in my head. How did I know? It wasn't. Because it was instant.

That is the tell. If it comes effortlessly, almost too easy, you know this is the inner matrix. You know this is you channelling the information, through you, not from you. The mind is the opposite. There's a charge to it. That charge is not spirit. Spirit doesn't have a charge. It is a subtlety. If it's loud, if it's charged, if it's dictating or bossy or demanding, that is of the mind. If it is subtle and lands in a random image like Santa or a random thought like put down the cards, that is Spirit.

And if you are reading this going, but what if I'm making it up? The fact that you're asking a question, am I making this up or is this real, is actually a good thing.

How do you practice being a psychic medium?

It's super important to play. It's super important to have patience, and it's super important to practice. These are the three P's that I highly recommend you contemplate. Here is how each one looks in a real week, with kids and a job and no spare hour.

Practice, small and daily

Your psychic ability is just like a muscle. When you use it daily, it grows. When you don't use it, you lose it. The biggest mistake they are making is waiting for something big to happen before they're tuning into their spiritual gifts, or their psychic mediumship.

You don't need to meditate an hour a day. Just give yourself a minute, give yourself two, and be present. If you don't have a question, you can ask the question, what do I need to know today? You may not have an answer, but that doesn't matter, because the answer will come.

Patience, and the willingness to get a no

Patience is really trust. One of the biggest things I say in MM is, unapologetically trust the first thing that comes through, even if it doesn't make sense to you. Because 99% of what you see, hear, feel, know, won't make sense to you. But it will make sense to the sitter. And it definitely makes sense to Spirit.

Be willing to get a no, because every no will get you closer to a yes. The whole skill is the allowance of letting it land and the willingness to get it wrong.

This is how my first reading happened. I thought I'd be really, really brave. So I asked one of my hairdressing clients if she would mind sitting for me, if she would be the sitter for a mediumship reading, so I could play and practice. And if it didn't work, it didn't work. But I couldn't say that I didn't try. I thought I was a fraud until the sitter I was practicing my reading for told me it was one of the best readings she'd ever had.

Play, like you did at eighteen

Spirit wants to play, by the way. Spirit does not want to be all serious all the time. Children are conscious because they're willing to play. They're willing to get their hands dirty. But as adults, we grow up and we become perfectionists. So the instruction is simple. Dropping perfectionitis and not trying to get it right. Play like a child. Use your greatest imagination.

I was always going, let's play the game, when we talk about each other's futures. Even when I was 18, hairdressing, I'd say, I can see you with three children, meeting the love of your life overseas, sorry you're not going to be with the current one. Five, ten years later, everything I said came true. I was just playing a game.

And when the voice in your head says, maybe I'm a fraud and I don't belong here, this is my answer.

The truth is, everyone is. It's just whether you're interested enough, and whether you are brave enough, courageous enough, to walk the walk and learn the skills.

Why does knowing Spirit start with knowing yourself?

To know spirit is to know yourself. So can you please take spirit off the pedestal? This is the part most mediumship courses skip, and it is the part that keeps you safe and clear.

How do we get strong boundaries with humans and spirits? We come into ourselves. We know who we are. We glow ourselves up. We come back to us. And mostly we remember who we are. Because if you have loose boundaries as a human, you're probably going to have loose boundaries as a medium or as an intuitive.

I used to have loose boundaries and I never slept. I had my ears constantly ringing. I had songs looping and looping. I had mind chatter. I didn't sleep. I was like, what is going on? It wasn't spirit's fault. It was my lack of boundaries. And when I looked into my human life, yeah, I was a people pleaser. I let people take advantage of me. I was always discounting my services as a hairdresser. I was saying yes instead of saying no.

You are the strongest entity in your reality, and your power is your greatest protection.

And if you feel scared, good. When people come and work with me in my program and they're like, I'm feeling all the fear, I'm like, this is good. It means you've got skin in the game. It means you're human. Fear is your friend. Fear is the go button. I have learnt to walk with fear. From that first Facebook Live, to that YouTube, to doing my first reading. I am so grateful that I walked with fear. This is what we call courage.

If you want words to say before you begin, these are mine. I am willing to see. I am willing to hear. And I'm willing to feel. I'm willing to connect with my grandpa. I'm willing to connect with my child or my friend, and I will not micromanage how that happens.

To know spirit is to know yourself. Everyone is a medium and your power is your greatest protection. These are the foundations for a great medium.

Is it too late to become a psychic medium?

You're not a late comer. Some of us do not get the calling, and wake up and remember our soul gifts, until we are older. I was one of them. I thought that I had skipped the gift. I thought that only certain people had the gift of mediumship and they always saw with their eyes or heard with their ears.

It is not a bad thing that you put your spiritual gifts on the bookshelf in the back corner for a while, because you're returning to it now. And it's just sitting there waiting for you to unlock.

It doesn't matter what age you are because you were connecting to spirit when you were really little. You're connected to spirit your whole entire life. You're just not present enough to acknowledge that you're connecting to spirit, that you are spirit.

And the years you think you wasted are the opposite of wasted. So many of the women that come to me in midlife, they become the most extraordinary mediums because they've had a full ordinary life full of human experiences. So they can bring their wisdom and their knowledge and their intuition to the forefront with their mediumship gifts. You don't have to have been a reader for 50 years. You do not have to be a reader for five years or 10 years. In fact, you can pull some cards, tap into your God-given gifts that you were born with, remember who you are and start reading right away.

Remember, you are always exactly on time.

Try this tonight

Don't read past this. It takes a minute or two and you can do it in bed. You don't need to meditate an hour a day. Just give yourself a minute, give yourself two, and be present.

• Breathe and ask. If you breathe in deeply and tune in to your body and close your eyes and ask a question, what am I sensing right now, with absolutely no judgment, what will happen is your body, your ecosystem, your emotions, your senses, your mind will tune in and sharpen your skill set with your psychic abilities.
• Notice what you notice. Warmth, a tingle, a colour behind your eyelids, a word in your own voice, a feeling that is not yours. That is your sense answering. Whichever door opened first is the one to practice with.
• Write it down. The coolest thing about journaling as a tool is you might be like, I don't know! But write it down anyway. And once you write down the question, you can actually channel out the answer.
• Ask for one sign. Spirit, show me a sign in the next 24 hours that you are guiding me. Often we expect spirit to work instantaneously, and often they do, but we are inviting deep subtleties, signs where we can connect and piece the puzzle together to create a story.

If you felt nothing, that's okay as well, maybe we're still a little bit in the mind, that's okay. Do it again tomorrow. Everyone has these skills. We just have to practice.

Watch Victoria teach this on YouTube →

Questions women ask me

Do I need crystals or cards to become a psychic medium?

You don't need crystals, incense or to be born special to connect with spirit. A tool is not going to make you a magnificent medium. It's just going to be a tool. Without any tools, without any cards or crystals or anything like that, my greatest imagination was actually my third eye.

How long does it take to become a psychic medium?

You don't have to have been a reader for 50 years. You do not have to be a reader for five years or 10 years. But it is a skill set, so it needs your time. We don't go to the gym and just do one workout and expect results straight away, right? It's a continuous action. It's a continuous embodiment.

Do you have to see Spirit to be a medium?

You don't have to see spirit to connect into spirit. We've been conditioned to believe that psychic equals seeing. And it truly isn't the case. Just because you're not visualising doesn't mean you're not gifted.

Everyone is a medium. Including you. Start tonight, with the sense you already have, and let the rest come in its own time.

Read next: Everyone Is a Medium, Unlock Your Psychic Potential, To Know Spirit Is to Know Yourself